Revelations of a Broken Heart
by shynerdylady
Summary: Seemingly abandoned on Horizon, OC Emma Shepard find's comfort and her hidden feeling's for her closest friend Garrus Vakarian.
1. Chapter 1

Emma sat at the bar in Flux, tossing back her fourth drink. It was a mixture of vodka and some turian alcohol that made her head spin as it went down. She wanted nothing more than to forget about Horizon; she wanted to forget everything Kaidan had said to her. She wanted to forget about Kaidan completely.

Garrus climbed the steps to Flux and entered the night club, spotting his Commander at the bar. She was easy to find, her Cerberus casuals and fiery red hair making her a sore thumb in a room full of evening wear and dancing. He had heard from Miranda what had happened on Horizon, and wanted to lend a shoulder if one was needed.

She was pointing down into her glass for another when she caught sight of Garrus approaching. Her head buzzed as she felt happiness fill her at the sight of him. Garrus was her only friend. He was always there for her, despite any differences they had, which really, there were none.

Garrus was accustomed to walking the straight and narrow from working at C-Sec for so long. At first, he found his recent vigilante-justice-freedom stance was hard to adapt too. Emma smiled at the memory of seeing him again on Omega, fighting off three sects of mercenaries all on his own. He'd obviously come to terms with that pretty quick.

"Garrus, what're you doing here?" she asked, eyeing the drink being poured into her glass as he sat down next to her.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, "I just came to make sure you weren't completely drowning yourself."

She leaned into his hand and smiled. "I'm fine. Just relaxing, you know?" She leaned away from him as she lifted the cup to her lips and finished the drink in two gulps. She clenched her eyes shut as she swallowed, feeling her head spin and the heat of the drink slide down her esophagus.

Garrus smirked. "How many of those have you had, now?"

"Five."

He nodded. "Right. What is she drinking?" he asked the bartender.

"Vodka Tereal. You want a Tereal?" she asked Garrus with a flirty smile.

"Tereal?" he looked at Shepard, his eyes slightly widened. "You've had five of these, Shepard? You gave her five of these?" he glowered at the bartender.

Emma nodded. She smiled up at him, "Call me Emma, Garrus. We're friends, right?" she placed a hand on his arm.

He shook his head as he laughed at the drunken smile on her face, his anger at the bartender fading into amusement. "You prove to be tougher every damn day, Emma. I'll have one, please," he answered the bartender. "Most humans would be out cold or dead having had that much Tereal." He glanced down at Emma's hand on his arm.

Emma shrugged, "I'm not most humans," she pulled her hand back into her lap.

He frowned at her words. She spoke sadly, not proudly. "What do you mean?"

"Commander Shepard?" the bartender's mouth dropped in surprise as she immediately recognized her, "I had no idea!"

"It's nothing," Emma eyes lifted to the bartender. She wore her Commander's face that told the woman to leave it as it was.

She nodded. "I understand. You just want to relax," she gave Emma a wink. "Well drinks are on the house, Commander."

Emma smiled drunkenly at the bartender after securing that she wouldn't have to be Commander Shepard right then. "Thank you Raiyna."

"Anything for you," she flirted as she moved across the bar to help another drunken soul.

Garrus turned in his seat to face Emma. He watched her rub her face with both of her hands as she sighed deeply. He was worried about her. "What's going on, Shepard?"

"What'd you mean Garrus?" she looked at him with a smile. "Nothing's wrong. We're sharing a drink together. Are you enjoying your drink?" she asked. She turned in her seat to face him, the two almost touching knee's.

He looked down at the blissfully happy look on her face as she talked to him. It made him warm up inside to know she was so happy to see him, but the reason for her drunken state brought him back to reality. "Shepard-"

"Emma. Call me Emma," her expression darkened only for a split second as she reiterated that he call her by her name again.

He frowned. "Emma. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Doing what?" she scoffed. She was growing irritated with her friend.

"I know you're upset about Kaidan, but-"

Emma's brow furrowed angrily, "Kaidan? You came down here to talk about him?"

Garrus paused at her sudden anger. As he looked into the fire in her eyes, he felt small and uneasy at provoking her. But he reminded himself of how she must feel. To her, all of this was like waking up from a night's sleep. In reality, it was two years later for everyone else except her. In her mind, she had just hit the release on Joker's escape pod just as the Collector's blew apart the Normandy...

"He does care for you, Emma-"

"Does he?" she growled at Garrus; her memories of the Normandy falling apart before her eyes, the dead bodies of the crew she couldn't save, the air she so desperately had gasped for as she died... it all fueled her rage. "How do you know that?"

Garrus frowned, "Because he loves you. He lost everything when he lost you." He couldn't help but quickly relate to the words he spoke on Kaidan's behalf. When Emma was lost on the Normandy, Garrus felt like the part of him that was connected to anything had disappeared. He'd lost touch with his purpose in galactic space without her there to fight by his side.

Emma's scowl deepened. "If that was true, he wouldn't have left me there. He wouldn't have walked away from me." Her eyes began to brim with tears. "I don't want to talk about this. I just want…" her voice broke.

"Oh, Emma," he regretted bringing Kaidan up with every fiber of his being at the tears in her eyes. He watched as she sucked in her sorrow, not knowing what to do. He awkwardly held out an arm and placed it on the back of her shoulders, gently rubbing her shoulder with his talon-ed hand to try and comfort her.

She slid willingly into his arm as she choked back her tears. She didn't want to cry. Not when everyone was looking to her to save the galaxy. She had to be strong for everyone.

"I'm sorry. I didn't come here to upset you." Garrus hugged her to him.

Emma rested her cheek on Garrus' shoulder and felt safe and happy at the feeling of his arm around her. She calmed, and enjoyed the moment of feeling taken care of by her friend. She began to feel excitement rise up in her chest at the seemingly Kodak moment she was having with Garrus. They were friends, but not really the affectionate kind. But it wasn't because she didn't want to be. She clenched her eyes shut as her thoughts overwhelmed her.

Garrus never questioned her, she thought to herself. When he found out she was on Omega looking for Archangel, not knowing it was him, he was more than happy to see her again. He was grateful to know she was alright. That was all he needed. He was happy enough to know that in the end, she was alright.

Her mind began to spin from all the alcohol. She lifted herself from him but grabbed him gently under the arm to keep him close. She looked up at him and deep into his eyes. She wanted to see if she could find feeling's for her in them somwhere.

Garrus looked back down at Emma and smiled. Unbeknownst to her, she was smiling up at him with her big, doe-y eyes and it made him chuckle. She was the fiercest human being he had ever met, and here she was, drunk, giving him bedroom eyes. What made it hit home was how much he wished she wasn't drunk at that moment. He wished this was real.

"I think we should get you back up to your quarters, Emma," he squeezed her shoulder.

In the split second before he spoke, she saw it. She caught a flicker of how much he cared for her and it forced a grin to her lips.

"Thank you," she continued to hold on to his arm. She wanted him to know she meant everything she was saying through her drunkenness. "You are all I have left, Garrus."

Garrus smiled at her words, his smile turning to laughter at the belch Emma let out. It was quiet, but funny nonetheless.

"Ohh god I drank those too fast," Emma brought a hand to her head.

"C'mon," Garrus stood and wrapped an arm around her middle, lifting her from her chair.

She leaned into him heavily, having not stood up for a good 30-40 minutes whilst she filled herself with turian alcohol. "Oh wow. I'm really fucked up," she said with a chuckle.

Garrus laughed too, "Aren't we all?"

Emma smiled as she let him practically carry her out of the bar.


	2. Chapter 2

The door to Emma's quarters hissed open as Garrus helped Emma stumble into the room. She gave him a reassuring squeeze of the arm as she stepped away from him, letting him know she could stand on her own.

He watched her trip down the steps to the bedroom area but manage to stay on her feet. He shook his head as he watched her, bent over, arms out-stretched as she slowly inched herself towards her bed. "Are you sure you're alright?" he asked with a smirk.

"I'm fine. Just really floaty," she said with a small hiccup. "Uhhnnn, gross. I think I just threw up a little."

"Lovely," Garrus laughed. It was torture watching her tilt one way, then the other, trying to keep her balance and see where her bed was. "Let me help you," he walked to her and grabbed her hand. He gently pulled her to the bed, laying her hand down on the mattress.

"Ahh there it is," she cooed. She climbed up on to the bed and slid herself up to the pillows. She buried her face in them and mumbled happily, and incoherently, to herself. She lolled over onto her side and looked up at Garrus standing at the end of her bed. "Will you take off my boots?" she wiggled her feet at him, "Pleeeeeease?"

_Oh my god. I can only imagine what people would pay to see her like this,_ he stifled his laugh as he nodded and took a seat on the edge of her bed, beginning to undo the straps of her boots.

"I'm glad you are here Garrus. I love you," she said whimsically. She'd only been down in the bar not even an hour, so the alcohol was starting to reach the beginning of its peak.

"I bet you do," he teased her. "Hey- look, I can't help you if you keep wiggling your foot around," he held her leg down on the bed as she giggled. He met her eyes and couldn't help finding the coy, playful expression on her face adorable.

"Sorry. I like when you touch my feet," she admitted shyly.

He shook his head at her, amused, and went back to un-strapping her boot.

She leaned up on her elbows and watched intently as Garrus finally un-strapped the last strap. He pulled it off and she let out a sigh of relief at having it off. Garrus dropped it to the floor and looked down at Emma's foot on his leg.

"Human's have such fragile-looking feet," he said as he studied her foot.

Emma wriggled her toes, "Not really. There are like, 40 bones in a human foot, or something," she said drunkenly. "Or maybe even, like, fifty."

Garrus knew there were only 26 bones in a human foot, and her exaggeration made him laugh.

"What! It's true! I learned that in school," she scowled at him. Her face looked more confused than angry.

"Alright, give me your other foot," he gently moved her bootless foot off of his leg and grabbed her other ankle, pulling at the straps on that one.

Emma watched his hands intently. She watched the talons as they undid each strap one at a time. His fingers each ended in sharp points that, if he wanted to, could probably rip the flesh right off of anything he grabbed a hold of. Her nose crinkled as she wondered if he'd ever done that.

"What's with that face?" he asked, his voice seeming to appear out of nowhere to her.

"What?" she asked startled.

"You looked, very unsettled," he said. He waited for an answer.

She bit her lip, having instantly forgotten her last thought due to inebriation. "I dunno… I think I need a glass of water," she smacked her mouth open and closed a couple of times. "My mouth is dry."

He pulled her boot off and set it down next to her other boot. "Do you have some in your cooler?" he asked as he stood and walked over to it.

Emma rubbed her feet together and smiled at the feeling, "I think so."

Garrus began to wonder if it was a good idea to leave her alone right now. She might wander around and hurt herself, he offered as an excuse to stay with her longer. He pulled open the cooler and grabbed the bottle of mineral water in the door.

She smiled at Garrus as he returned to the edge of her bed and handed her the water. "Are you going to be alright?" he asked.

Emma reached for the bottle, not gripping it tight enough and causing it to fall onto the bed and to the floor. It didn't break, but rolled under the bed out of sight. Emma just giggled as she watched the bottle roll under the bed.

Garrus sighed. She was a mess.

"Okay Emma. How about you climb into bed and I'll pour you a cup of water," Garrus offered, grabbing the edge of her blankets and pulling them out from under her. She happily lifted herself up so he could get the blankets out from under her, then curled up and waited for him to cover her with them.

"Thank you Garrus," she nuzzled her pillow and smiled as she closed her eyes.

He laid the blankets over her, then got down on his knees to peer under the bed for the water. He reached to grab it and stood, walking back to the cooler for a mug he saw sitting atop it.

"Garrus?" Emma asked meekly as she peered over the blankets at him.

"Yes, Shepard?" he reverted to calling her by surname naturally as he poured water into the mug.

Emma rolled over so she could watch him, "Why did Kaidan leave on Horizon?"

Garrus looked at her, seeing she had rolled over and was looking at him rather contemplatively. She looked so fragile, laying there all bundled in blankets. It was like looking upon a rare treasure that had been hidden away from the world for centuries, seeing her so unguarded and relaxed, so in need of reassurance and comfort for her broken heart.

He smiled at her as he came back to the bed. She scooted up to sit against the backboard of her bed, taking the cup of water from him and sipping it. She closed her eyes and tilted a little to the left, her head spinning slightly from sitting up. He sat down on the edge of the bed and clasped his hands together as she sighed, happy with her water.

He looked on at her closed eyes, admiring her features. He enjoyed the way her cheeks dimpled when she smiled and laughed. It made him smile to think that out of everyone she knew, he may have been one of the select few that saw her smile and heard her laugh the most.

Her question came flooding back into his thoughts, causing a sigh to escape him. He caught her eyes as she opened them.

"I have no idea how he could leave you there, Emma. I wouldn't have."

Emma rested her hands holding the mug of water in her lap. She smiled sweetly at him, a small tear rolling down her cheek as she blinked.

"I did love him. Very, very much," she said as she looked down at the water in the mug. "But it's been two years for him. I can understand that he's moved on with his life. I'm glad he did. He deserves to be happy." She looked back up at Garrus, lifting a hand and taking his hand in hers. "I want you to be happy too, Garrus."

Garrus squeezed her hand in his, looking down at her seemingly fragile fingers. He admired her hand as he spoke, "I am happy, Emma." Her ran his thumb over her hand, the softness of the hand he'd watched kill hundred's of Geth appearing very alluring to him despite that truth. Humans were so delicate yet durable, he thought. Emma was the strongest he'd ever met.

He almost chuckled aloud, thinking to himself that if he didn't love her, he probably would soon enough. The thought scared and excited him all at once.

Emma hiccuped, giggling as her cheeks flushed. "Excuse me."

He squeezed her hand and gently let it go, getting up to leave. "You need to rest."

"Where are you going?" she asked with fear of his departure loudly apparent in her voice.

"I'll be down in the main battery. Get some sleep, Shepard." He rose from the bed and turned to face her. He cursed mentally, wishing to the spirits she wasn't completely inebriated. Her words meant everything to him, but there was no way to really know if she meant what she was saying.

It felt as if she did.

"Will you stay a little longer?" she set her cup down on the end stand and swung her legs off of the bed, wobbling to her feet. She lost her balance a little bit, reaching out and grabbing onto him.

Garrus didn't mean to, but he was becoming angry with her. Here she was, exhibiting feelings for him, but drunk out of her mind. She'd only been able to express herself to him when she was completely shit-faced. He also wondered if she was expressing these feelings for him because Kaidan had left her high and dry, and she was looking for a replacement.

His last thought burned inside his chest. "I need to get back to the main battery. I have a lot of calibrations to run." He turned on her and walked out of the room.

Emma slumped to her bed and watched him leave. She didn't understand what had just happened. The room began to spin on her and she moaned, leaning over and grabbing at her stomach. She was pretty sure she was going to throw up. She got up and hurried to the bathroom.

Thankfully she managed to fall to her knees in front of the toilet in time to throw up into it. As she heaved all of the alcohol out of her system, she was suddenly thankful Garrus had left when he did.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma had showered and slept for a few hours after having vomited up everything in her body. She was now marching her way down the walkway to the main battery. She remembered everything that had transpired, and wanted to apologize to Garrus.

Garrus heard the door hiss open. He turned his head to see Emma standing there. His brow furrowed in confusion as he wondered what time it was. It didn't seem that long ago that he had left her alone in his anger.

"Do you have a minute, Garrus?" she asked, politely reserved. She clasped her hands together behind her back as she waited for his response. She could now sense he was angry with her, and was prepared to be shut down.

He turned to face her and saw the stoic expression he was used to seeing on her face. She was obviously recovered from her bout with turian alcohol, he noted. "Sure. What's up?" he wrung his hands together before crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back against the battery console.

"I'm sorry about earlier. It was unfair of me to speak how I did with you in the state that I was in." She watched, noting his expression didn't change. She knew he thought he was masking it well, but she could tell he was pissed.

She relaxed and let her arms fall to the front of her, lacing her fingers together. She looked back up at him with resolve in her eyes, "I did not go about dealing with what happened on Horizon in the correct manner, but please understand I meant no harm done to you, Garrus."

"You don't need to apologize to me," he flatly replied.

He was bitter, and determined to remain that way for a time, if not forever. She brought her hands back behind her and nodded. "I just wanted you to know I was sorry. I, meant everything I said," she broke her Commander stance for a moment as her real feelings escaped her. She recovered quickly, giving him a nod before turning to leave him to his duties.

He leaned forward towards her as the doors hissed closed behind her. He saw in her eyes that she truly recalled and meant everything she had said to him. She wasn't using him, or drunkenly masking her sorrow to him. Being drunk finally gave her the opportunity to express herself, as horrible as that sounded.

"I am such an asshole," he muttered as he slammed a hand to his forehead.

He thought on her and how he must have sounded to her just now. She understood, as always, and left him to himself just as he wanted her to. Only now that she was gone, he realized he didn't want that at all. He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her. He wanted to make her happy. He was only allowed moments of wallowing before he was interrupted.

"Garrus?" Joker's voice rang out over the comm, "Commander wants you to suit up. We've located an abandoned Cerberus vessel and she wants you and Tali to go aboard with her."

Crap. Of course she wants me to go with her. He entered in his lock code for the battery console, then turned and walked to the comm speaker on the wall. He pushed in the button, "Got it, Joker."

He entered his door code and exited the main battery as the doors slid open. He grabbed his armor at the collar and adjusted it, his nerves building inside of him at having to face Shepard after being an emotional ass. He was thankful for her understanding, but ashamed nonetheless.

His mind quickly went to pleasant thoughts of her as the reality of her having feelings for him sprang to mind. It didn't hit him until then what she had said to him. _I meant everything I said_, she had told him. He recalled how adorable she was, curled up in her bed, wiggling her feet to make it difficult for him to remove her boots.

"Emma…" he sighed her name as he hit the down button on the elevator and waited. He shook out his nerves and sucked in a breath to prepare himself to face her.

Emma was bent over, clasping her leg armor on as the elevator doors opened to reveal Garrus. She stood and watched as he walked a direct path to her. She could see the determined look in his eyes. She held the armor for her upper right thigh in her hands as she waited for him to reach her.

"Shepard, I want to apologize for how I acted down in the main battery," he kept her gaze as he continued, "I know it hasn't been easy for you. It's been hell, I imagine, and I just…" his shoulder's sagged slightly as he tried to muster the courage to express himself, "I want to be part of the solution. I want to make you happy."

Emma let her arms fall, holding onto her leg armor in her right hand as she lifted her left to take his hand in hers. "You do make me happy."

He smiled down at her, holding her hand tightly in his.

"I know things are complicated," she began, looking down at their hands, "but if there is a way… I would like to find it." Her eyes lifted to meet his again.

Garrus moved in closer to her, letting her hand go and sliding his up her arm and over her shoulder to touch her hair. "When this is all over, maybe you could come back to Palaven with me for a visit. My father would be… interested to meet you."

"I'd like that," she smiled up at him.

The elevator doors opened to reveal Tali. Garrus reluctantly moved away from Emma, not wanting Tali to see the affection shared between him and their Commander. He didn't want to cause Emma any more stress with the crew, their mission stress enough on everyone as it was.

"Hi guys," Tali greeted them warmly.

"You ready to go?" Emma smiled to Tali before bending over to clip on her last piece of armor.

"Yup, just need to grab my weapons," she walked passed Garrus and over to the weapons rack behind them.

Emma stood back up again, shaking her hair out around her shoulders. She cricked her neck to the side, stretching out the muscles. She met Garrus' eyes and smiled as she bundled her hair up in her hands to pull it up into a bun, so it would fit under her helmet.

He looked back at her lovingly. He wanted so much to kiss her in that moment, but alas, it was time to raid and kill geth. Or mercenaries. Either way, the inconvenience irritated him as he joined Tali at the weapons rack.


End file.
